Monday, June 04, 2007

Democratic Debate in New Hampshire

Red or blue? Some democracy! Sounds like a two-party system to me!

Welcome to democracy in the New America, where you are free to choose the brainwashed, war-loving, millionaire politician in the red corner, or the brainwashed, war-loving, millionaire politician in the blue corner (they love war because the Defense Contractors are secretly paying them Big Bucks).

Last night’s Democratic debate (mixer) included some well rehearsed, softball questions from some (not-so) random people. Social Security was never brought up and the poor were never mentioned (except when Sen. Edwards said, “We forgot to mention the poor.”).

Interestingly enough I saw plenty of stars in the room, but not a single American flag. Here is the impression I got from each candidate:

Dennis Kucinich - “I have goofy ears but have you seen my wife?” He didn’t say that but have you seen his wife? She’s got my vote for First Lady.

Joe Biden - “I was there!” “I’m angry and I love war!” “We should pull out of Iraq, make peace with Iran, and bomb China!” Okay, he didn’t say those last two parts but he was pretty mad!

John Edwards - “How do I look?” He didn’t say that but you could tell he was thinking it! He did say that we should, “Reestablish alliances around the world.” He mentioned the world a couple more times and kept talking about the “Moral Authority.” That's all I need! A politician preaching about Moral Authority. This dude admitted he was wrong (about supporting the war). I hope George was watching?

Hillary Clinton - “My husband, my husband, my husband…” I guess she forgot we impeached that ass-hat. In all fairness, when asked about what she would do if elected she said, “Bring the troops home.” Perfect political posturing. Slick Willy would be proud.

Barak Hussein Obama - “I’m the black John Kerry!” He didn’t say that, but he was the only person to say anything worthwhile on Health Care. It's a good thing no one asked him any details. This guy slipped and blurted out, "New global economy," at one point. It's a good thing no one asked him any details...

Governor Bill Richardson (New Mexico) – “Let’s smoke a joint and talk about it.” Yeah, he didn’t say that but he was thinking it! He actually seemed very grounded and locally minded and talked about education and the arts. A classic pot-head.

Sen. Chris Dodd - “I raised my hand!” He did say that but I think he was being funny. “Spending, spending, spending.” I don’t know what he was talking about but he kept saying the word over and over again. When asked what he would do if elected he said, “Restore Constitutional Rights.” Sounds like music to my ears. Too bad he’s a politician.

Senator Gravel - “Who are these people?” This guy has my vote.