10 things I hate about World Cup Soccer
Actually, I have been watching the World Cup for the last couple days and let me tell you, I am INTO IT man! I always thought that soccer was just a bunch of grown men kicking a ball around, but it’s a very coordinated and deftly executed sport. It’s quite thrilling! I predict that the World Cup will be the most watched sport (in the U.S.) in 2010 if they can only figure out how to get Brittney Spears to perform at halftime. Until then, here are ten things I hate about World Cup Soccer:
10. No commercials – Where’s the marketing, where’s the advertising? How am I supposed to know what to do with my life? Where am I supposed to shop, how am I supposed to shave, when should I take a Viagra? WHEN do I go take a piss? (I had to add the word Viagra to my computer’s dictionary.)
9. Stupid logo - What a gay-ass, damn logo that is! What is that a bunch of smiley faces? Go back to the drawing board and select something more gritty or edgy. How about a “logo-selection” guy getting punched in the face?
8. Offsides – I understand the concept of the Offsides rule, that rule is what makes the game of football so extremely challenging. But wouldn’t it be great to lift the rule for just a few games so that the scores will end like 17 to 9? Maybe they could lift the rule for just a few minutes during the game. They could call it the Budweiser “Offsides Liftoff,” presented by Yahoo.com of course.
7. Score goal/Run away – Whenever a player scores a goal he runs, and runs, and runs, and usually runs some more. The player normally stops running when their teammates finally catch them and jump on them. Why run? I have never played soccer but If I did play, and if I was lucky enough to score a goal, I would just stop and let my teammates congratulate me. Maybe we could conserve our energy?
6. English National Anthem – I know this is a bit specific but I mean come on. Where did you guys steal this song? We here in America have a song very similar to yours, it’s called, “Let Freedom Ring.” Land where my father’s died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, Let Freedom Ring. It’s actually a very nice song…
5. Time difference – Isn’t Germany like halfway around the world? When those games are aired live it is 7 o’clock in the morning here on the west coast. That’s too damn early! If I had a job or a life I wouldn’t be able to watch ANY of these games because they certainly will NOT be aired on any American television station during normal viewing hours.
4. Who’s who? – I’m not talking about the individuals, I’m talking about the teams. I know Tunisia was playing Saudi Arabia but it took me fifteen minutes to figure out which one to support. I think they should have mascots that match their names like the Paraguay Penguins, or what about the Mexican Moochers? Also, I would like to know where each player makes his living. For example, it wouldn’t be fair if more than half of Trinidad’s team was on the English payroll, would it?
3. Soccer ball – Why can’t a soccer ball just be a soccer ball? It’s round, it has pentagonal or octagonal patches that are black and white. What was wrong with that design? Why do they have to use those “lesser-paneled,” oddly shaped, white colored beach balls? There is an old saying that comes to mind; if it ain't broke, don’t fix it!
2. Every four years – Is it the World Cup or the Olympics? To be honest with you, the World Cup is much, much more interesting and captivating than the Olympics will EVER be, so why not have it every year or every other year?
1. No U.S.A. – Most people I talk to have never even HEARD of the World Cup, much less seen a professional soccer match. Football (soccer) is a true man’s athletic sport which has been played in some form for thousands of years. Us Yankee’s don’t understand that. We like sports that are at the most thirty or forty years old with lots of peripheral distractions like cheerleaders, shoulder pads, and beer. Lots of beer.
Technorati tags: 10 things, hate, world, cup, world cup, soccer, cool
10. No commercials – Where’s the marketing, where’s the advertising? How am I supposed to know what to do with my life? Where am I supposed to shop, how am I supposed to shave, when should I take a Viagra? WHEN do I go take a piss? (I had to add the word Viagra to my computer’s dictionary.)
9. Stupid logo - What a gay-ass, damn logo that is! What is that a bunch of smiley faces? Go back to the drawing board and select something more gritty or edgy. How about a “logo-selection” guy getting punched in the face?
8. Offsides – I understand the concept of the Offsides rule, that rule is what makes the game of football so extremely challenging. But wouldn’t it be great to lift the rule for just a few games so that the scores will end like 17 to 9? Maybe they could lift the rule for just a few minutes during the game. They could call it the Budweiser “Offsides Liftoff,” presented by Yahoo.com of course.
7. Score goal/Run away – Whenever a player scores a goal he runs, and runs, and runs, and usually runs some more. The player normally stops running when their teammates finally catch them and jump on them. Why run? I have never played soccer but If I did play, and if I was lucky enough to score a goal, I would just stop and let my teammates congratulate me. Maybe we could conserve our energy?
6. English National Anthem – I know this is a bit specific but I mean come on. Where did you guys steal this song? We here in America have a song very similar to yours, it’s called, “Let Freedom Ring.” Land where my father’s died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, Let Freedom Ring. It’s actually a very nice song…
5. Time difference – Isn’t Germany like halfway around the world? When those games are aired live it is 7 o’clock in the morning here on the west coast. That’s too damn early! If I had a job or a life I wouldn’t be able to watch ANY of these games because they certainly will NOT be aired on any American television station during normal viewing hours.
4. Who’s who? – I’m not talking about the individuals, I’m talking about the teams. I know Tunisia was playing Saudi Arabia but it took me fifteen minutes to figure out which one to support. I think they should have mascots that match their names like the Paraguay Penguins, or what about the Mexican Moochers? Also, I would like to know where each player makes his living. For example, it wouldn’t be fair if more than half of Trinidad’s team was on the English payroll, would it?
3. Soccer ball – Why can’t a soccer ball just be a soccer ball? It’s round, it has pentagonal or octagonal patches that are black and white. What was wrong with that design? Why do they have to use those “lesser-paneled,” oddly shaped, white colored beach balls? There is an old saying that comes to mind; if it ain't broke, don’t fix it!
2. Every four years – Is it the World Cup or the Olympics? To be honest with you, the World Cup is much, much more interesting and captivating than the Olympics will EVER be, so why not have it every year or every other year?
1. No U.S.A. – Most people I talk to have never even HEARD of the World Cup, much less seen a professional soccer match. Football (soccer) is a true man’s athletic sport which has been played in some form for thousands of years. Us Yankee’s don’t understand that. We like sports that are at the most thirty or forty years old with lots of peripheral distractions like cheerleaders, shoulder pads, and beer. Lots of beer.
Technorati tags: 10 things, hate, world, cup, world cup, soccer, cool
posted by I'm Confused... Maybe at 11:23 PM
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